“He knew what he was about to tell me was a gift that would bring me endless joy,” the “Mean Girls” alum tells Jimmy Kimmel while recounting the story.
Lizzy Caplan recently married a very proper English man who “tends to get into the most embarrassing, humiliating situations on Earth.”
It’s one of her favorite things about Thomas Riley, who despite being quite dignified, goes by Tom.
And when these “embarrassing, humiliating situations” happen to poor Tom when the couple is in England, “because of the polite society, it’s like 10 times better,” the “Mean Girls” alum told an intrigued Jimmy KimmelThursday night, explaining that they spend half their time in Los Angeles and the other half across the pond.
“For example,” Caplan began with a wicked smile on her face, “we were at the theater. We do that in England — very classy, very dignified. It was intermission. I sat there in our seats. He was in the bathroom, the loo, and I’m just kind of soaking it in. It feels very classy. I felt very grown up for the first time in maybe ever.”
Suddenly, Riley “abruptly returned” to his seat, “pale as a ghost, covered in sweat.” He sat next to his wife and glared silently ahead. When she asked if he was okay, he muttered shyly, “Something happened.”
“He said he was at the urinal, and then he exhaled loudly, took a beat, and he knew — I could see it in his face! — that he knew what he was about to tell me was a gift that would bring me endless joy forever,” she explained. “And he said that he was at the urinal, and he went to spit his gum into said urinal — which I had questions about because, people do that?”
“He said sometimes men do that,” she insisted, but Kimmel hilariously noted that “men with impeccable manners do not do that.”
Nevertheless, Lizzy continued on with her story. “So he went to spit the gum, but he said, ‘It got caught on my lip, and then it tumbled down, and I followed it with my eyes. And almost as if it were in slow motion, I saw it bounce off the man standing next to me’s penis.'”
She beamed as she recalled hearing the cringe-worthy story and feeling as if it were Christmas morning.
Collecting her enthusiasm, the actress told Kimmel she immediately asked her husband if his victim was “mad.”
“In America, I would assume you get punched in the face or something,” she noted, adding that the man with the gum on his penis — another very proper English man — ended up being the one to apologize.